Control
by I can never tell
Summary: After the death of his father Nick needs the help of his pack to deal with the pain.


Nick was sitting in the old leather chair, leg bouncing. He wrung his hands, he could still feel the blood seeping through his fingers. He cleared his throat and sprung out of the chair. He went and stood by the window, the grounds were still crawling with police and investigators. He cringed, and rolled his neck. If there was ever a day he needed a run it was today. He walked over and poured himself a generous drink. I one swing he downed the entire thing, he poured another. After downing this one as well he ran his hand over his face. Trying desperately to rid himself of the image of his father. Rid himself of the blood, the gaping wound, the pain, the anger. He braced against the edge of the table, he took a deep breath. _Calm_ , he thought to himself. Refilling his glass he took his seat. Trying to ignore the sounds of people searching the property, the sounds of the pack moving about, moving on. But most of all he was trying to ignore the sound of Jeremy scrubbing his father's blood off the floor. He clenched his fists. He could feel the anger coursing through him, feel it swell, burn in his chest. He knew he should pull his mind out of it. He knew how to control his emotions, to prevent a change. But he didn't want to. He wanted to imagine avenging his father's death. He wanted to tear their throats out, make them pay. He heard footsteps approaching. He didn't turn when Clay entered the room. He didn't look up when he sat across from him. He could feel Clay's eyes trailing over him.

"Nick," Clay began gently, "The pack, we're worried about you. we agree that it would be alright if you took some time to grieve."

"I have the rest of my life to grieve," Nick said taking a swig of his drink. "I don't want to waste any more time," he felt a fresh burst of anger course through him. The sounds of the police outside intensified. The sounds egged him on, he glared out the window. He could feel his hand shaking, the glass visibly trembling. Clay eyed the glass, and the murderous view Nick had. He was about to say something when the glass shattered. It seemed to jar Nick out of his trance. He swore as blood dripped down his palm. He stood and ripped glass chunks out of his hand.

"Here," Clay said holding out his hand. "let me see," he said taking a step closer.

"I don't need your help," Nick snapped. Clay could see his emotions escalate.

"I think you do," Clay said. "You're pushing us away but that's not going to solve anything." Nick began pacing. "You're angry," Clay said. Nick turned on him.

"Of course I'm angry!" he practically shouted. Clay saw the way he was shaking, he could hear his heartbeat accelerate.

"You need to calm down, get control" clay said seriously.

"Control? I am in control," Nick shouted.

"No you're not. And if you don't stop you're going to trigger the change right here." Nick shook his head at Clay's words. "Antonio died," Clay said softly. Nick's eyes widened and his breathing hitched. "But he wouldn't want you flying off the rails like this." Nick glared and lunged, pinning Clay to the wall. His breath smelled like liquor, his fists were closed tightly around Clay's shirt.

"Don't you dare tell me what my father would want for me," he growled. Nick ground his teeth, pushing Clay harder against the wall, "you have no right to speak for him, or about him…" Nick trailed off voice breaking. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. A familiar tugging sensation pulled in his stomach. Argh! An exasperated sound escaped his throat.

"Nick!" Jeremy's commanding voice caught his attention. He turned his head facing his alpha. "Look at yourself. Look at what you're doing." Nick seemed to come to his senses. He released his hold on Clay. Jeremy saw Nick was triggering a change, he also saw the swarms of police outside. "let's go downstairs," he said. Grabbing Nick by the collar he pulled him down the steps.

"Let go of me," Nick snarled. Jeremy didn't respond, but continued dragging him along. He threw Nick into the cage and shut him in. "Jeremy what the hell!" Nick screamed, pushing on the bars. "Let me out!" He threw his weight against the cage door.

"You've triggered a change, I'm not letting you out any time soon."

"I'm fine," Nick snapped. But he was overtaken with a sharp pain in his core. Holding the bars to keep himself from falling, he folded over. He groaned, fighting the pain. "You can't keep me in here!" He yelled, pacing the small space. He grabbed his head crying out. "Jeremy, unlock the door!" Nick felt the walls closing in on him, he felt the panic of being contained. "I can't stay here," he pleaded. He groaned, his knees buckled. He fell to the floor, sweat dripped down his face, his chest was heaving. "Let me out," he said quietly, crawling to the front of the cage. Jeremy looked at him sadly. He knew Nick had a hard time with small spaces, but he didn't have a choice. "Jeremy please," he begged. " I can't-" he was cut off with a groan, his face pinched. He gasped, "I can't breath!" He pulled at the bars. Jeremy kneeled outside the cage,

"don't fight the change Nick." Nick withered, crying out again. "Don't fight it," Jeremy said softly. Nick pulled off his shirt, he fell forward on to his forearms. "That's it, let it take you." Nick slid off his jeans and boots. Jeremy winced as he saw his spine reshape itself. Nick gasped, clutching his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes and dropped onto the concrete floor. "It hurts," he rasped, hand over his heart. And Jeremy knew it wasn't the change he was talking about.


End file.
